We Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest
John Constantine—everyone’s favorite problematic antihero. The warlock detective who fights evil beings and gets roped into plenty of hijinks along the way. Okay, we’re putting it lightly, but Constantine squares up against unspeakable evil on the daily, and we’re here to go through his most terrifying foes.
1. Nergal
We had to kick off the list with Constantine’s arch-nemesis. A terrifying demon with incredible powers, Nergal’s one of our detective’s earliest foes and will stop at nothing to try and crush Constantine—especially after he slept with Nergal’s girlfriend Zed to prevent the Second Coming.
2. First of the Fallen
It’s never good when the first fallen angel sets his sights on you (and we don’t mean Lucifer). Who was once essentially God’s conscience became one of Constantine’s scariest enemies, a leader of fallen angels in the underworld, and a ruler with many powers. Despite his abilities, he’s often bested by John in numerous ways, which doesn’t help his temper.
3. Ivunche
We’re not sure what’s worse, ticking off a group of dangerous warlocks called the Brujeria, or their grotesque creation. The Ivunche stems from Chilote lore, leaving fans to hide under the covers as this deformed baby-like creature ran amok. Its main purpose was to target Constantine’s friends, and while that’s bad enough, we could’ve done without all the freaky limbs and guttural noises.
4. The Great Darkness
Speaking of the Brujeria, they’re apparently fixated on destroying the earth. They once thought it’d be cool to sic a dark body of water over humanity. Not just any tidal wave either; The Great Darkness was so vast it could consume anything in its path. Thankfully Swamp Thing rolled a DC 20 persuasion check and managed to broker its merge with God himself.
5. King of the Vampires
This villain doesn’t look that threatening on the surface. Cool guy in a leather jacket and jeans? How bad could he be, right? Turns out, very—especially after you turn down his offer to become just like him. Poor John’s left to fight a guy with enhanced senses, super strength, superhuman speed, transformation, regeneration…well, you get the picture.
6. Rosacarnis
Nergal’s daughter was bound to have it out for Constantine, and she certainly made her presence known in the series. Though he didn’t sign up to be evil’s baby daddy, John was still tricked into conceiving Adam, Saul, and Maria with Rosa—three so-called children who then targeted John’s actual family and friends.
7. Papa Midnite
Papa Midnite’s iconic throughout the franchise. As a powerful voodoo crime lord, there’s nothing he can’t do (including occasionally teaming up with Constantine). It’s hard to hate the guy too much since he is a sometimes-ally, but we can still fear his necromantic immortality.
8. Third of the Fallen
Okay, yes, we skipped over the second fallen angel, but the third holds a special, horrifying place in our hearts. He was created by God as a means to prevent the first and second fallen’s total control of the underworld. If that wasn’t crazy enough, he takes particular delight in constant shapeshifting, reminding us just how creepy he really is.
9. Drummond
No! Bad dog! Stop eating people! He won’t, of course, and that’s exactly why we can’t stand the guy. His real name is never specified, but all you need to know is that he turned himself into a dog with a penchant for people. Picture Cujo but worse.
10. Buer
We know it’s Constantine, but a slimy old guy gatekeeping every child’s soul in the underworld? Yeah, we’re not fans. It doesn’t help that his true form is a goat-like creature akin to biblically accurate angels. He also tried to shoehorn The First of the Fallen back into power, so not the best guy.
11. The Family Man
Don’t let that name fool you. He’s…technically a family man, just not in the way you’d hope. As a prominent criminal, Samuel Morris targeted families and greedily took souvenirs that he’d sell later. He didn’t have the biggest role in Constantine’s world, but the scariest thing about this guy is how plausible he is.
12. Pralaya
Pralaya’s the literal embodiment of the void, the total nothingness that existed before light—would you believe she’s evil? And she is, make no mistake. In her eyes, creation was a dumb idea and she’ll do anything to reclaim that sweet darkness, which includes unleashing Time Gremlins.
13. Gabriel
Wouldn’t it be nice if God’s archangels didn’t succumb to corrupted ideologies? If they just hung out in the clouds instead of setting their sights on humanity? Well, Gabriel just couldn’t help himself, eventually losing his place in heaven and becoming a powerful enemy against God and Constantine both.
14. Mnemoth
Here we thought summertime mosquitos were bad. In the throes of the underworld, this demon was born of a human desire for consumption. He was initially unleashed in 1980s Africa, was attracted to Gary Lester’s addiction, and feeds on humanity’s unbridled desires. Not the kind of creature you want around.
15. Lucifer
Of course, we had to talk about Lucifer. He may not be the first fallen angel or even the only one, but he’s still credited as the original Bad Guy, especially in this franchise. With an onslaught of powers and some timelines crowning him the Devil, it isn’t good to see him coming.
16. Neron
Often portrayed as one of the strongest magic-users in the DC universe, this powerful demon is no joke. He has everything from telekinesis and teleportation to flight and superhuman strength. The good thing is that he’s pretty much a sitting duck without making contracts on Earth first.
17. Anti-Christ
Shoutout to John for stopping this monstrosity’s mortal realm birth not once, but twice. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t pop up in various forms and try to bring Armageddon to our plane—it’s always worrisome when an actual infant wants to destroy the planet.
18. Cain
We already know Cain’s story, but we didn’t know that God shot him into the underworld and cursed him with vampirism. What we’re left with is a guy with an insatiable appetite, one that won’t stop until he gets his fill.
19. Mako
If eyes are the windows to the soul, we don’t want to know what’s poking around inside Mako. He’s a chaotic mage who binds soul to body and consumes people’s brains while they’re still alive. Remind us to wear a helmet.
20. Demon John
Let’s be real—oftentimes, John’s biggest enemy is John. But his demonic form took it to all new heights. Though initially created for a good purpose, Constantine’s literal evil twin would be abandoned in the underworld and soon seek revenge.
